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Awgeewhiz 24. Jul 2010 05:59 AM

Computer Humor - Add to the thread

26Dolphins 24. Jul 2010 05:43 PM

Old but gold!!

Jojo Yee 25. Jul 2010 01:04 AM

1 Attachment(s)
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26Dolphins 25. Jul 2010 01:47 PM

Great one Jojoyee, haven't seen this one before.

jim 16. Sep 2010 11:05 AM

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

============ ==
Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry....

============ ===
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

============ ===
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

============ ========
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ...thank you.

============ ========
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

============ ==
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

============ =======
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

== ============ ====
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

============ =
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

============ ======
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

============ =====
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well,i have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

============ =====
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
============ =====

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.

Ritho 16. Sep 2010 07:49 PM

Thanks for those Jim! There were some good laughs in there.

The following are not super funny but they are ones that happed to me.

************************************************** *************************************************

Once I was asked by a friend who was very computer illiterate if I could come take a look at his computer. He said he had tried to install some software a friend had given him and the computer had said something about running out of space on drive C:

So I went over there when I had some time, and after looking things over told him that we needed to clean some junk off of his computer to free up some space. He said OK. So I began doing so. At one point I restarted the computer and he saw the Windows 98 Splash screen, and the splash screen for a lot of other programs that were loading at startup. I said some of those were junk and could be removed. Then he asked, "What is that Windows program? I've never used it, can we take that off too?"

************************************************** *************************************************

I worked for a time in a small graphics shop doing computer aided design. One day one of the bosses got an email from a friend that they said really knew what he was talking about when it came to computers. The email had reported that there was a new virus going around that was undetectable by anti-virus software and it was set to become active on a certain date..but it said that you could check yourself to see if you had it, as it created a file called Sulfnbk.exe. (Many of you probably got that email because it when around a few times) Of course he checked and found it, and came back and told me about it and wanted me to check to see if it had spread across the network. I said," That sounds suspicious to me! How can it be undetectable if you can easily find it?" He said he did not know, but he trusted this friend, and ended up deleting it off of all the computers around the shop.

That evening I went home and did some research online and found that it was indeed a hoax, and the Sulfnbk.exe file was a legitimate part of Windows. So to rub it in a little bit I wrote this email to my boss...


"Scott, I did some research and found that there are a bunch of viruses like that one floating around. One of the worst is called win.exe and it is almost impossible to delete. But it is possible to boot the computer with a boot disk and clean it and any other similar viruses from the machine using a simple utility provided by Microsoft. Simply type "format c: /s" at the dos prompt answer "Y" to the next question, and all the viruses will be deleted!"

He got my email the next morning and when I got to work, and he said sarcastically, "OK I get the point. Ha Ha very funny."


Jojo Yee 17. Sep 2010 07:32 AM

Received this via an email...

Girls Explained In Computer Terms

~*~Types Of Girls~*~

she remembers everything, FOREVER

she forgets about you, the moment you turn her off

Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

Difficult to understand and access

Always busy when you need her.

She makes horrible things look beautiful

She is always faster and faster.

Brings a smile to your face

When you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you may lose everything....

MidnightCowboy 17. Sep 2010 09:24 AM


Not much point looking for an open port with this type because they stealth everything! :D

Come on girls - let's have some "MAN" examples in here! :D

Awgeewhiz 17. Sep 2010 03:21 PM


Originally Posted by MidnightCowboy (Post 36117)

Not much point looking for an open port with this type because they stealth everything! :D

Come on girls - let's have some "MAN" examples in here! :D

So.... Would you be a "Floppy Drive" kind of guy? :D

MidnightCowboy 17. Sep 2010 05:09 PM


Originally Posted by Awgeewhiz (Post 36136)
So.... Would you be a "Floppy Drive" kind of guy? :D

Definitely not. More like ZIP. Slightly outdated but still does the job and designed to run for long periods :D

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