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Old 29. Nov 2013, 10:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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C, mon guys look, i have been on many forums (mostly surf fishing ) and i have felt exactly the way BO is feeling many times over , trust me on that.

Am i convinced that the other party was baiting me , absolutely and many of my posts were deleted despite my protests , i am still an active participant in those forums because i know most see it my way and and have sent me private messages saying so.

I do wish the Administrators saw it differently but i can't change that and i have felt singled out many times .

On some of those forums the rules are clear as well and no matter how much solid and helpful info i contributed the rules are the rules and attacks are not allowed, period.

Even if i was just defending myself i felt i always got the bad call, it's life and i hope BO reconsiders because i feel he is a major player on this site and he has helped me a ton.

Bo, this forum is weaker without you being an active participant and if anyone says otherwise they are full of s_ _ _ , shake off the negativity and come out stronger than ever .

Unfortunately these conflicts are part of being a contributor and we all try to get along but some personalities butt heads , there's no doubt about that .

I try to avoid the people that i dislike but they definitely come looking for me at times and instigate crap , however, DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO WIN and thats what your doing by saying goodbye, life isn't fair , we know that but you need to stay and continue to be a big time player on this site and help the complete xxxxxs like yours truly .
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Old 29. Nov 2013, 10:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Well said .

Will allow this thread here for a few days, but will delete it after that because its off topic . If nice posts arrive here, it will go to ChitChat. If it escalates into something else, will close and delete it perhaps.

Play nice people .

I hope Bo re considers his decision.
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Old 29. Nov 2013, 10:52 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I hope you didn't depict me as some baiter. It wasn't really like that, but some personalities butt heads indeed.

Anyways, bo elam has made his decision to leave even after accepting my apology in PM. It will be a loss, but it's ultimately his choice.

He's still available to contact at Wilders if need be.
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Old 29. Nov 2013, 11:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by J_L View Post
Anyways, bo elam has made his decision to leave even after accepting my apology in PM.
Appreciated your apologizing to him . It's a good gesture.
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Old 30. Nov 2013, 01:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Bo has played a huge part on this forum with his help and support for others, as has J_L, especially those using Sandboxie. If he decides that he cannot continue as an active member here then he and his contribution will be sorely missed. It's a real shame it came to this.

I don't use Sandboxie, don't know who's right, who's wrong. Bo has found a way of keeping his systems clean, J_L uses another. Opinions will differ, this is a forum, debate is a good thing. But principles may have got involved here, then it's a whole different ball game. But when all's said and done people stick to their principles, and you have to respect that. Bo obviously feels affronted, right or wrong, and has taken what he feels is the appropriate action.

That said, I for one sincerely hope that he can find it within himself to reconsider the situation, accept the apology offered by J_L - which would look better posted on this thread by the way, agree to disagree, and move forward. Shake hands and forget it.

This is a good forum, the only one I ever post on, the only one I'm a member of. And the reason for that is mainly the people involved with it. Helpful, knowledgeable, obliging, friendly. Argumentative at times, yes, but usually in a good way. It's a shame to witness valuable members of the forum falling out in this way. A real shame.

Bo, if you read this, I for one would love for you to have a change of heart and continue posting here. Your contribution has been huge. You have helped many people who otherwise may have struggled without your knowledge and input, your patience and your personality.

But if you can't do that then, well, I'll wish you all the best. You're a good person, and your leaving will leave a huge hole throughout these threads.

Come on guys, think about it. Try to put your differences aside. Life's just too short.

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Old 30. Nov 2013, 01:56 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Unfortunately i missed what happened with Bo and yourself so i can't say if anyone baited anyone else but i always call it as i see it regardless of if it's politically correct and i would have if i was a witness to this event but i wasn't .

The bottom line for me is not bowing out simply due to these unfortunate events , they happen and it's just a part of being involved with so many varying personalities but it's NOT a reason to call it quits .

There would be a lot less helpful people if all of them decided to call it quits every time they butted heads and had a few of their posts deleted.

I have had tons of my posts deleted in the past and i didn't think it was fair at all but i was never going to give in and throw in the towel

Would i prefer that everyone get along ? absolutely but when you have thousands of members it's never going to happen , what you need to do is coexist with each other and if you know that you butt heads with a certain other member try to avoid commenting in each others threads .

Thats what i do now, he doesn't mess with me and i don't mess with him , every battle that i ever fought was because a certain member decided to make a smart a_ _ comment in one of my threads. I told him outright , if your going to instigate me expect harsh retaliation.

People just need to really think before posting something and ask themselves(will this start something that i don't want to start) and if you think it will refrain from posting it or change it's wording.

Sometimes an apology doesn't cut it especially if it's gone on before but an apology is better than nothing, my advice would be to avoid instigating each other regardless of what side your on, you two don't seem to mix well but you can coexist and be just fine.

Last edited by herbc; 30. Nov 2013 at 02:02 AM.
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Old 30. Nov 2013, 02:01 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Bo, I think you are a bigger and better man than that. Please don't let petty things like this influence you. I hope you will reconsider and continue to contribute on this forum.
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Old 30. Nov 2013, 02:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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This has been a good reminder that what we say here can affect people in ways we don't expect. It's also a hard job being a moderator - I don't ever want that responsibility.

I've spent several months regretting some posts I did many months ago. I should have shut up but I didn't and that negatively impacted another member.

As I have been involved in the Sandboxie discussion, I apologize if anyone, perhaps herbc, feels picked-on because of anything I wrote.
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Old 30. Nov 2013, 04:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
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This has been a good reminder that what we say here can affect people in ways we don't expect. It's also a hard job being a moderator - I don't ever want that responsibility.

I've spent several months regretting some posts I did many months ago. I should have shut up but I didn't and that negatively impacted another member.

As I have been involved in the Sandboxie discussion, I apologize if anyone, perhaps herbc, feels picked-on because of anything I wrote.


Absolutely not and my real name is certainly not herbc , i have no idea how i came up with herb but it just flowed i guess, herbc is geekish i suppose and more readily acceptable than big Al.

No one has made me feel anything other than welcomed here, i appreciate the quick responses to my questions and it's good to see a mod actively involved in the discussions, i feel if i ever had a problem it would quickly get resolved .

When i first jumped into the computer scene (extremely late) i did have some issues corresponding with people as it was quite different than being face to face .

I had a habit of taking almost everything to heart and felt attacked but as time went on i saw it very differently, i now approach peoples responses with a more openness than i used to .

For example in the past if i was supposed to get a call from someone at a certain time and didn't i would automatically take it as i'm being blown off, when in fact there could be a ton of legit reasons why that call didn't happen at said time .

When i did find out the answer i was correct in my assumption , the person had to stay a little longer in an important meeting than they thought.

On the other hand it could also mean i'm a dang xxxxx and don't know when someones lying through their teeth , i prefer to think the former.
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Old 30. Nov 2013, 06:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree wholeheartedly with the above comments praising Bo's contribution and asking him to reconsider.

The site rules do need to be applied though which is how come we ended up in this situation and our moderating team do a great, fair and consistent job. Let's not forget also the amount of abuse suffered by this team including racial and religious taunts and yet they still remain, logging in several times a day, seven days a week, to undertake their moderating duties.

As deya says, the reason most of us came here (and stayed) was because of the environment. This is not meant to belittle any other forum, but if folks like to engage in abuse, lighthearted or otherwise, they can always visit Comodo, The Pirate Bay or YNC.

I just hope that anyone creating content here can be respectful enough to understand that at some point the moderators might need to make a decision that not everyone will agree with, but at all times their best intentions for the site are paramount.
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